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England 1 – 0 Slovenia.

A bravely hard-fought victory?

A superb performance to qualify from the group stage?

Well that depends on what channel you were watching the match on – or more accurately, which punditry team you watched after the event. The BBC (England) and RTE (Ireland) seemed not only to be watching a different match, but a different sport….

Alan Hansen: “Once England got the goal the confidence levels surged, they were excellent.”

Eamon Dunphy: “They just didn’t grow in confidence at all after the goal.”

Gary Lineker: “The goal really settled them, didn’t it? They pushed on from there.”

Ronnie Whelan: “You’d think they’d have kicked on from when they scored, but they actually got worse.”

Roy Hodgson: “England’s crossing has been absolutely outstanding.”

John Giles: “Some of the crossing was just awful.”

Lee Dixon: “A great performance.”

Dunphy: “Shocking…absolutely incredibly bad…pretty awful stuff.”

Lineker: “He looked more like the Rooney we know.”

Whelan: “Rooney is a major worry, his form, his body language, his demeanour, everything.”

Dixon: “Gerrard was outstanding.”

Dunphy: “I can’t believe how bad Gerrard was today.”

Harry Redknapp: “Across midfield we were top drawer.”

Giles: “Barry got worse as the game went on, Milner, Gerrard and Lampard the same.”

Redknapp: “Bring it on! Whoever we play we’ll be difficult to beat.”

Whelan: “If they don’t improve they’ll go straight out, it was a very, very inept performance.”

Category: humour  Tags: , , , , ,
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