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CSI One-liners #3


CSI One-liners #2


CSI One-liners #1

So a few months back, I posted a bunch of these one-liners on Twitter. And much fun was had by all. However, seeing as Twitter’s search history doesn’t seem to go beyond YESTERDAY – they’ve been lost to the mists of the Internet.

And so, because I have too much time on my hands, I’m redoing them – and it’s a fancy new graphical version. Oooh. (Image pilfered from here)


Don’t know about CSI Miami? Never heard of a Horatio Cane one-liner? This might help…

More to follow….

Category: humour  Tags: , , ,  2 Comments
My Letter of Recommendation

Got this from the boss today – am delighted. I never knew he held me in such high regard. That new job is definitely in the bag now…


1 Steve Healy, in our team of software developers, is always
2 hard at work at his desk.  Steve works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues.  Steve never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks.  Steve is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Steve can be
10 classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I truly recommend that Steve be
12 promoted to senior management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Edit: It’s been pointed out to me that there is something a bit ‘off’ about this letter. Something about only reading the odd-numbered lines? I don’t get it…

Category: humour  Tags: ,  One Comment
Choons Of The Day : Dog Eat Dog

So who remembers these guys? I haven’t listened to this album in 10 years I’d say…


If you need your memory refreshed – in 1995 they were voted Breakthrough Artists of the Year at the MTV Europe Music Awards, beating the likes of Alanis Morissette and Weezer. No Fronts (below) was their main hit, reaching the top 10 in the UK. It all seemed to fade away after that – though surprisingly (to me anyway) they’re still going as a band, touring more in Europe now than the US.

(that was the single remix – but the album version is much better)

Category: music  Tags: ,  4 Comments
Predator Rap

So last week it was the Robocop Rap (see previous entry) – which was a new find for me. The Predator Rap however, has been one of my favourite mp3 choices for the last three or four years…

At one point, I had nearly half of it memorised – you can laugh all you want, but when you’re in the pub at 1am and can start rattling that off – you’re suddenly a legend. Oh yes.

Needless to say, if you haven’t seen the movie and don’t want the whole storyline given to you in 6 minutes – look away now…

“The woman grabs his gun & Arnie kicks it to stop her,
then he turns around & shouts ‘Get to the CHOPPA!’”

Category: video  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
Robocop Rap

Surely there’s no better way of summarising a film than to rap about it. And anyone who manages to fit ED-209 into a rhyme is ok with me.

10 minutes of goodness…

“Clutching at his bleeding groin he falls in a heap
& Robo says ‘your move, creep’”

Category: video  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
I just called….to say….

Many people are blogging. Maybe I should blog. This is my blog.

Writing stuff takes time though. Maybe I should just post things that make me laugh. Or wince in pain. Or both.