Archive for » 2009 «
Following on from the Scottish Lonely Hearts ads (see previous entry) – the time seemed right to give Twitter-folk the opportunity to open their hearts – to cry out for that someone special – to find just one person to share this big wide world with.
In a highly non-serious fashion of course.
So it was only fair that I got the ball rolling – and it was absolutely necessary that I ticked all the major loves in my life…
Tall Irishman seeks desperate female for boozing and xbox appreciation. Ladies under 5ft must supply own stepladder. Cake-making is a serious plus.
Now let’s watch the Twitter people pour their hearts out…
Anne11Duke: COMPUTER GEEK WANTED that knows all the right buttons to push. Must know way around hard drive. Rebooting skills a plus. Training required.
annaclarasoares: South-American beauty, toilet trained and vaccinated, looks for billionaire aged 80+ for sincere and passionate relationship.
lisam75: Impatient, fat, grumpy mum of 2 seeks obscenely rich guitarist with beard. Must have own teeth, walk in wardrobe, and cleaner.
ByGina: Twitteraholic seeks illiterate husband, i.e. won’t read out tweets as you type, ask inane questions and give out about ‘bloody twitting’.
samanthai: Mild Schizophrenic, 37, seeks well-hung male for festive candle-lit dinners, drinking, the odd S&M sexcapade – dancer a plus!
Anne11Duke: BAD HABIT WANTED!! Don’t have to be Mr. Right just Mr. Right Now!! No experience necessary, just a strong desire to learn.
SkittleMittens: Female ex-circus performer, 22, seeks male, hairy, into animals, mutual shaving and adult nappies. Freaks need not apply.
VioletsCRUK: Homely dominatrix seeks gimp for walks on the beach, attending knitting classes and candle wax on the nipples. Good whipping skills a must!
scooby867: Male wannabe Liverpool FC captain seeks female, blondette, into cartoon dogs, away ground quickies and jaffacakes. Big boobs not essential.
So who remembers this? I think this was out when I was 10 or 11….and for that summer, I thought it was the …. Best. Song. EVER.
Ladies and Gentlemen…I present Green Jelly, with Three Little Pigs. A true classic.
We all know it’s true…
(note: that says ‘petty’, not ‘potty’ – which sent me in the wrong direction for a while. ahem.)
Even better, I get a mention myself. And bizarrely enough my brother is called Alan…
The challenge was simple – I give you a random word, and you have to include it in a message on Twitter. You can’t let on that you’re playing the game – and you have to act like it’s the most normal thing you’ve ever said. Easy!
Or was it? Let’s see how our contestants fared…
It started off as a simple way to waste 10 minutes between @VioletsCRUK and my good self. Words such as emu, bejeweled, underthings and trumpet were fired back and forth…
We handled those superbly as I’m sure you’ll agree. Once the game was opened up to the whole twitter world – things got even more interesting…
@juleser started things off in a lovely way by talking about ’spittle’…
Then, in a superb bit of timing, @NiallOK replied to that very tweet with his own word: ‘fisticuffs’…
Meanwhile, @DeeDeeRouge was writing one of my favourites of the day – how can you not admire some Sinatra inclusion for ’snooty’?
@MuzzioMom shared an interesting factoid with ‘badger’…
…while @Anne11Duke went down a scientific road that Darwin would be proud of with ‘hormones’.
@Healium shared some personal information about his ‘banshee’-like aunt…
…but @lisam75 was more focused on her shoes with their ’squeegee’ shine.
Elsewhere, @GarethOShea was feeling the pressure with his ‘tomfoolery’…
…something that @Disklabs could sympathise with as he dealt with‘ostrich’-like staff.
Avoiding such stresses, @Treagus was simply relieved that she wasn’t ‘mustachioed’…
…whereas @MammaSteph was just watching the time ’slither’ by.
And finally, @julie13 was simply happy to muse on future ’saxophone’ purchases…
And there you have it, the 1st Annual Insert A Word Into A Tweet Awards - simply rolls off the tongue doesn’t it. Congratulations to all the contestants – you woffled superbly.
Sign up now for next year! (or possibly sooner)
