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Judgement Day

Just so you’re all aware – according to current Terminator lore*, Skynet went operational on Tuesday… and Judgement Day, the Rise of the Machines… is today. Time to build that bunker, stock up on beans and buy that gun.

But one thing is for certain… there is no stopping them; the terminators will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new machine overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted IT codemonkey, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground internet caves.

(Apologies in advance – but I’m sure the toiling will be quite pleasant really)

* ‘Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ TV series

Twitter Wisdom 2011 – Part 1

In my last post I explained how the combination of a new year and reaching 1000 Twitter followers had given me an idea – to get words of wisdom/profundity from every follower, and create a historical list that will last the ages…

Or something.

But I realised shortly afterwards that asking 1000 people individually ain’t the easiest of jobs – so this might be project for ALL of 2011… Anyways, here is the first batch of Twitter wisdom – thanks to all the contributors!

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#2 @vertoda: Buy dancing shoes. :)
#3 @JohnDennehy: Don’t put your back out in 2011. If you do, like I did, you’ll truly be part of the tilted generation.
#7 @BBCEntsTeam: “One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I don’t know” – Groucho Marx
#8 @_davehall: Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.
#9 @DavidOMahony: No matter how high the throne, they all sit on their arse.
#10 @mrdiscopop: Age ain’t nothing but the last three letters of sausage.
#14 @MovieMoron: A wise man does not accept his third invite to Big Momma’s house
#15 @julie13: I’d give you words of wisdom, but I’m going back to sleep. Which seems pretty wise to me. :)
#16 @celaV: This too shall pass. Good for both bad times & good.
#19 @AnnetteRoche: Take a risk every day
#22 @lorrainelarkin: Never eat yellow snow
#23 @catrinasupple: Don’t eat bread at the ” all you can eat country buffet ” it’s just a waste of seafood space!
#25 @samanthai: “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker!” (Ogden Nash)
#34 @fredchannel: FOCUS, avoid distractions, work on stuff that makes you happy, learn how to say NO, ensure to have free time.
#35 @Jimmy_Poodle: The bigger the house, the bigger the whore.
#37 @grainnemurphy: “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – St Francis of Assisi
#40 @andylim: Eat vegetables.
#41 @clairehearty: What’s meant for you won’t pass you by
#42 @PaulBrugger: “The future depends on what we do in the present.” – Mahatma Gandhi “What will your future hold?” – Paul Brugger!
#45 @gracesmith: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me”. Go after what you believe in, what you’re passionate about and make things happen for yourself.
#46 @ClaireHammond: Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow!
#49 @Dave98FM: If you’re 35 and more than a little unfit, don’t go paintballing with young, athletic professional footballers as an end-of-season blow-out. You’ll only end up dislocating your ankle, breaking your tibia in two places and your fibula in eight. Fail.
#51 @GHmltn: Even a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step!
#110 @thewonderanna: Never trust a woman with a moustache (specially if it’s bigger than yours)
#222 @justviolets: A life with too many limitations is no life at all…
#283 @kate0404: Live your life to the fullest, because lots of people are dying who have never died before.
#443 @MaurizioC: Follow your heart & trust your gut instinct!
#479 @sheehanpaul: Lose something? Look in the last place you’d think first, it’s always there.
#501 @Orbeeque: Going through 2011 horizontally rather than vertically will save on shoe leather
#554 @EmmaLouiseuk: Don’t let your happenings destroy your happiness.
#596 @IanQuigley: No body listens to unsolicited advice.
#621 @orlaithf: Laziness is often disguised as hyper-efficiency. Fact.
#628 @DeeJayPaulie: Don’t shoot yourself in the foot
#638 @robertbarron1: If you love what you work at…it never feels like work.
#639 @lightnessalways: Life is like a box of chocolates!.. You never know what you’re going to get!
#664 @deshocks: This too shall pass.
#671 @QueenAnnmarie: Marriage has many pains, but Celibacy has no pleasures.
#705 @jennifercma: The past is the past, we should learn from it not bring it with us. Anger/sadness/arguments should be left there so that we can grow in happiness.
#708 @Jonathanwpurvis: Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
#712 @sazzle84: You cannot create a diamond without pressure.
#756 @umnumnum_cork: If you are going to meet Steve bring your own stepladder. His poor back will thank you in years to come!!
#876 @masterfuji: Expect the worst, hope for the best and take what comes!
#912 @TheWrathOfShaun: Never take the Micky from a Chinese man with a knife.
#921 @purplesars11: “Steel of character is forged in the fires of adversity.” – Martin Luther King Jr
#930 @Lisami75: You can try to make others happy until the cows come home, but if you’re not happy then it’s all a fucking waste of time.
#971 @LauraMulligan: Never piss against the wind.
#986 @scarie: What’s for you won’t pass you.

Submit your own below!

Update: Feel free to tweet me your words of wisdom – but if you’re leaving a comment below, make sure you leave me a clue as to who you are on twitter, if it’s not obvious!

Category: Rambling  Tags: , , ,  2 Comments
1000 opportunities for profundity

2011. A new year. A time to start something fresh.

On the 25th of January, it’ll be my second Twitter birthday. And at the time of writing, I’m getting tantalisingly close to the big 1000 followers mark. With these two events in mind, I’ve been thinking of a way to mark the occasion(s).

And so, over the next few weeks, I’m going to send a message to every single follower of mine – asking a simple question: share a short piece of wisdom/profundity that we can all take with us throughout this new year. Easy peasy.

All replies will posted here on the blog – a lasting directory of wise/humourous/daft words.

Make me proud guys and gals.

Update: As with all great ideas, there’s always the little details that slow you down. Like the actual time involved in messaging nearly 1000 people individually. Yikes. So please feel free to send on your contributions whenever you like – by tweet or comment below. Can we do it? Yes we can!

Update: 1000 followers!

Category: Rambling  Tags: ,  13 Comments
I just called….to say….

Many people are blogging. Maybe I should blog. This is my blog.

Writing stuff takes time though. Maybe I should just post things that make me laugh. Or wince in pain. Or both.